Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize