She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
