Your face is a jimmy john
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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