love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We had to coat check the pizza.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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