You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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