best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
