I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
