No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize