i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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