You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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