I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize