woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
