She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
