awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize