I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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