i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
