One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
