i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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