I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
they're like a gay fantastic four
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
