dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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