I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
