Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
