you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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