Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
