What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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