...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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