I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It's Friday. Sex?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There r osticjed everywhere
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
