my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
