And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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