i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
