you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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