i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
