so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
