I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
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