Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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