i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
