ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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