(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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