She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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