Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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