Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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