@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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