My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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