pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
