remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
