what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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