I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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