That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
