Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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