Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
