when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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