Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize