Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
