look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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