apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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