Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
