I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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