That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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