Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
