I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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