That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
