Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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