Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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