i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
