Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
