Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
