dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
