What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
