She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
