If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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