So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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