He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
